Recently, I received a link to a blog post from one of our daughters, also mother to our two grandaughters (the little sunshines of our life). As I read the post, it gave me the opportunity to remember and reflect, what it was like to be a Mom of young children…after the fact. The blog post was written by Glennon, a Mom of three and author of Momastery blog. This particular post went viral…I noticed that she had over 2,000 comments on her website! http://momastery.com/blog/2012/01/04/2011-lesson-2-dont-carpe-diem/
After reading and reflecting on Glennon’s honest and gritty words, I thought I’d share some of my thoughts…as a Mom.
Although, I felt I was put on this earth to be a Mom and was so excited to begin my journey…I realized it was hard, hard work…and I’d do it again but maybe skip a few of the tough times.
I thought I knew a lot about children and would feel confident as a Mom…sometimes I did but there were many times I didn’t.
Before I became a Mom, I was sure that my children wouldn’t throw tantrums, talk back, or disappointment me…of course they did…they are human.
There were days, though I didn’t want to rush their childhood, I wondered when were they going to grow up?
I also noticed other days, how quickly they were growing up…and felt a tug at my heartstrings.
I remember wanting to freeze certain moments, days and weeks…while also wishing there was a Mom remote with a fast forward button to get me through the rough times.
I wanted to not take my role as Mom so seriously…while knowing I was responsible for their well-being and wanted to be the best Mom possible, for my children.
There were moments when I felt I’d earned “the worst Mom award”…but luckily those days were replaced with others when I thought…yay, I did a pretty good job!
Being a Mom was not an easy ride… but I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
As a Mom, I wanted to remember the joys of motherhood…and hoped that the tough times would become a blur…and they did.
I can now say as a Mom, sometimes mothering is really hard…but so worth the effort.
Looking back at the experience of being a Mom is similar to memories of being in labor…you quickly forget the hard work and pain…and easily remember the feelings you had when you held your baby for the first time…like it was yesterday. Sometimes it is easier to look back and remember the good times…and yes, there are many.
In her blog post, Glennon refers to time…chronos and Kairos. Chronos is our measured time, minute by minute, hour by hour…Kairos time allows us to seize or appreciate the special moments.
Mothers experience both chronos and kairos time with their children. Older Mothers, who have raised their children, have the special ability and gift of remembering the kairos moments. The chronos moments begin to fade, but just as labor pains are remembered…we too remember that the work and pain were so worth it.
So from one Mom to another, albeit older…yes, I do remember how hard it was…and I also remember the tough days…but the sweet kairos moments far outweigh the tough chronos times.
I remind myself now, as a Mom, a grandmother and a woman…to seize the kairos moments. So the next time I see a younger Mom in the grocery line, trying to just get through the next few hours, until her little ones are sound asleep in their beds…when she can finally collapse and maybe complete one full coherent thought in her head…I will try to remember the trying times, not only the sweet ones, the chronos not just the kairos, offer her some help, acknowledge that being a Mom is hard work…and know in my heart, that she too one day will feel the tug on her heartstrings…and possibly only remember the sweet times when her children were younger.
I applaud Glennon for speaking her truth, not sugarcoating motherhood. It’s often not viewed favorably when we are completely honest about what it is truly like to be a Mom. Moms need to be able to feel what they’re feeling, without judgment…neither their own or others…and feel supported in doing so.
I’d love to hear your thoughts…your stories about being a Mom.